Wednesday, April 21, 2010

TRYING TO UNDERSTAND DESTINY AND KARMA

What you meet in life is destiny,
How you meet it is self effort (karma).........Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

I received the following as a forward and would appeal to the followers of Gyan yoga. Is the meaning any different from the meaning of the two line quote above?

"What is this rule?(Author-Stephen covey)10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.



When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is " D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.



You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90%
was determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day.



A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.



Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.



Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it".

Are we any wiser???

2 comments:

Piper .. said...

of course we are wiser Sir!Thanks to you :) I love your Stephen Covy posts. The G says the same things to me over and over again. But when I read it here, suddenly everything seems to make sense:):)
I try and not live in a reactive mode - but it`s difficult. It is very difficult, Sir! It comes with practice I guess..

J P Joshi said...

Piper: You know there is a saying in Hindi, "Ghar ki murgi, dal barabar"; have you heard it?

Knowing all this is the first step; implementing it in our lives is the more important, and difficult step. I also struggle with it... and agree with you that it surely would come with practice and I for one need much more of it, still.