Thursday, July 23, 2009


It's been sometime since I blogged and the reason is ... we are too busy these days ... our grand daughter 'Meher' is here. She reached Bangalore on the night of 01/ 02 Jul and our world was transformed by her magical presence. The last few days have delightfully slipped by, no complaints. She along with my wife and daughter have left for Delhi this morning and I am back to blogging for the next four days.

She was all of 09 months old when she got here but she could teach a number of lessons to the two of us. We have brought up two kids but being a grand parent is the time one becomes a grand parent, the perspective changes... you seem to enjoy the child more, because one has generally seen what life is all about, and one starts valuing the TRULY valuable things of life... like the little ones and what they bring into our lives and relationships - their innocence; their bewitching smile; the magical twinkle in their eyes; their unique ability to have full conversations with you without speaking a word, and all through gestures and expressions, without ever losing eye contact. (This is the privileged grandparents world - all perks without the responsibility, which can sometimes be overpowering - we were also parents once).

Poonam had done the necessary spade work for her arrival... all glass and other breakables were removed from below 3 feet height and the floor was generally kept clear for her to crawl. She has this fascinating crawl. She puts her hands forward and then bounces forward like a rabbit... of course during the course of her stay here, she has perfected crawling and it is evident that she now hates to crawl. Given the slightest vertical support, she would rather stand, and attempt walking. She learnt how to stand at our place. It was a lesson in management for us adults. Our centre table is her pet. Watching her learn how to stand on her wobbly legs has really been very enlightening.

On the first day she tried to stand, she crawled towards the centre table - stopped at a distance of about three feet and stretched her left hand forward - it did not reach the table; she crawled forward a little more and attempted the same again - same results; she continued doing this until she could reach the top edge of the table. She then put both her hands on the top edge and dragged herself up - we were all waiting for the inevitable to happen and it did happen - she collapsed under her own weight. No problems - try and try again until she finally managed to wobble up - the look on her face was worth noticing - a look that said that this was something she really enjoyed accomplishing.

After this it has been normal for her to come up to the table - reach out (her 3D image of estimating distances is slowly inching towards perfection - her reaching out range is getting closer each time; sometimes she does it perfectly now) and then stand up - she still falls once in a while, when she thinks she's got it, but she never gives up. For a few days she did not dare move her hands but slowly she started moving one hand to reach out to objects on the table or just to thump the table top - her confidence seemed to be growing.

One day she started to walk while still holding on to the edge of the table, initiating the move with one hand followed by the same leg and then shifting weight - each manoeuvre that we adults take for granted is such a beautiful act of co-ordination for her. The other day, I offered her my hand and she left the table top and hung onto my hand and walked away from the table. I then gave her my thumbs and she did the same - though the wobble in her legs increased and her grip on my thumbs was very tight. Couple of days later, I attempted giving her only one thumb - she held on with one hand and moved forward for five steps and then fell down - loud wail - thump the ground where she fell, and she is all smiles again.

Eyeing the newspaper - she is teething and enjoys chewing on the newspaper

Watching her learn to stand has many valuable lessons for us - aim (always slightly more than what you can comfortably accomplish); plan; act; revise plan; act; persevere; try and try again; 'you never fail, until you give up'; know your capability, and improve it every day; trust; communications without words; the power of a smile; focus on the job at hand - karma; and the biggest of all - living in the present moment. Thank you God for grand children.


Piper .. said...

What a beautiful post this is! Yes, we as adults can sure learn a thing or two from children. I`m fascinated by the things my lil nephew,all of two, can teach me, Sir! Beautiful picture of the lil angel. And lastly, I think I have mentioned this before. BUt I love the name Meher.

BK Chowla said...

I can understand your feelings and excitement.We have gone through similar situation.I covered our Grand in my blog recently.
It was my father who onc said.....ASAL SE SOOD JYADA PYARA HOTA HAI.
How true.

J P Joshi said...

Piper: Thank you for your comment. Her name 'Meher' means God's grace and it does feel and sound right for her - thank you for your thought. Yes, we adults have a lot to learn from little kids - they can cry and laugh almost simultaneously and similarly love and hate, based on each moment.

BK Chowla: Very true - sood ka maza hi kucch aur hai - shayad yeh hum grand parents ki umar ka takaza hai.

Indyeah said...

awww this is truly an aww kind of post:))
how cherished grandparents make their grandkids feel na?:)

I think as mom says that its the love minus the responsibilities plus an awareness of all the times that one was right( and wrong )as a parent that helps :))

Meher is a beautiful name and I love it too:)
the pic is cute:))))
god bless her:) and her loved ones:)

Smitha said...

Such a lovely post! I can imagine my father saying the same things about my daughter.. Such precious feelings, such precious moments...I can hear your joy bursting out throughout the post :)

Meher looks gorgeous! and I love her name too!

Anonymous said...

awwwwwwwww.......beautifully written. Nice post.And yes, Meher is a daarling...

J P Joshi said...

Indyeah: Yes, grandkids are the best things that happen to grandparents and I agree with your mom.

Thank you for your good wishes... good wishes are never enough; any amount are humbly accepted. Thank you.

Smitha: Thank you for your comment. I can imagine your dad's feelings..yes, grandkids are special and we grandparents never seem to have enough of them... shortly we will have to be content with telephone conversations, picture uploads and youtube videos.

Anonymous: Thank you for your generous comment.

Renu said...

It s a really a privilege to have grand children and we really pamper and love them more because when we had children, we had umpteen things to do, many responsibilities and that
AAPADHAAPI of day today life to earn the bread and butter with Jam:) and now we are free of every tension and responsibilities so we have more of everything:)

Meher is so sweet...its a urdu word?..meaning kripa?

shail said...

Beautifully written. Brings back memories of my own sons. I still remember the first time the junior son pulled himself up and thrilled with his achievement happily took both his hands off peg table edge and... there he was on the ground wailing! :D The elder one was much more cautious.
You have described the attempts of your grand daughter so very well! An observant grandpa indeed.

J P Joshi said...

Renu: Grandchildren are a definitely a blessing and you are right when you say that we are, "free of every tension and responsibilities so we have more of everything:)"

Meher to my knowledge means God's grace or yes kripa too?

Shail: Wait until you have grand children, and then you will notice even more. Grand children come with all the perks and no responsibility and so you have all the time in the world for them - also you are relatively free by the time you become grand parents, unlike when you are a parent.