Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Sorry.... you got me wrong. Those three little words are not 'I Love you' or 'Oh my God' but rather the words that my wife uses very often and which generally confuse the hell out of me. These three confusing words are - 'Whatever', 'Anything' and the best one, 'You decide' (Two words but generally spoken as one, to give you the impression that YOU ARE THE BOSS).

We, my wife and I, come from different planets... I have been told by some successful, practicing psychologists/ psychiatrists. Someone hit the nail on the head when he put this familiar conversation down in words.. I had heard similar statements from my best half.... but thought it was just her that does this - to me.... but when I received this forward, I realised that this PROBABLY is a universal phenomenon. Please read and let me know if this actually happens with you too.

Act 1

Men: What should we have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why don't we have Mexican?
Women: No not Mexican, the last time i got pimples on my face
Men: Alright, why don't we have Szechwan cuisine
Women: Yesterday we ate Szechwan, today too?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

Act 2

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time
Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time
Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?
Women: Exercise on such a hot day?
Men: Then find a cafe and have a drink
Women: I am off caffeine
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: Anything

Act 3

Men: Then do we just go home?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's take the bus, I will accompany you
Women: The bus is dirty and crowded.
Men: OK; we will take a cab
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance
Men: All right, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather
Women: I am hungry, can't walk.
Men: Then what do you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first?
Women: Whatever...
Men: What shall we eat?
Women: Anything..

With regards and best wishes to the beings from the friendly planet Venus.


Smita said...

lol!!! :D but errr I agree ;-) we do behave this way hehehe...

indianhomemaker said...

Ha ha :))

But also ask any homemaker what do they hear when they ask what should they cook each morning :)

The answer is always 'anything' :) I even joke and say I haven't yet found the recipe for anything :)

J P Joshi said...

Smita: Good to joke about facts. Thank you for your comment.

IHM: Agree with you - its the same answer in our household too, though in Hindi, 'kuchh bhi'.

Swati said...

Hilarious !

BK Chowla, said...

My dear friend, it is the same story the world over.
The almighty created the women so thatthey remain the Boss and keep giving us the impression that we the ones.

J P Joshi said...

Swati: Yes, it is hilarious, but is it true to some extent?

BK Chowla: Agree with you, and I have my wife's permission to say so. There is a joke on this - I am sure you must have heard it too.

Piper .. said...

ha ha ha ha!!! It happens every single day in our home!! :):) esp Act 1

J P Joshi said...

Piper: I do believe that it happens in every home; and like IHM says, sometimes in reverse order too. Good to know and have a good laugh - that is more important.

How do we know said...

he ehe he.. i was laffing all the way thru this one.. and its spot on. And agree with ihm too... some more examples:
She: What shld i wear to the party?
He: Anything.
She: (knows better than to ask another qn and wears the blue saree)
He: God! u look like a peacock! Didnt u have anything better to wear?

Next time:
She: What shld i wear?
He: Anything darling, u look gud in whatever u wear.
She: (Remembering the blue saree compliment, wears a pastel pink this time)
He: Eesh! look at the other women, they look so nice in these dark colors. Your pastel pink isnt fitting in so much, nahi? in any case, dark colors are much better for a night function, na?
She: Rolls eyes and makes a mental note to ignore all such "compliments" in future.

Example 2:
She: Have you thot of a school for Chintu?
He: Arre schools are all the same. Any school will do.
She: Ok then, i m finalising ABC.
He: No no ABC is not good. the boys there are total rowdies.
She: Ok, then PWR.
He: PWR is so far off. Transport will be a problem.
She: Then which one?
He: Any school dear. Whatever you want.

he ehe hehe..

J P Joshi said...

HDWK: So true, says my wife. You got it right, says me too.

Actually just after marriage, about 32 years ago, we were going out and had this memorable conversation.
She: What should I wear?
I: Anything.
She: No, you tell me.
I: OK, wear that green saree, it really looks nice on you.
She: But that is silk and nobody wears silk in the morning.
I: OK, then wear that yellow chiffon.
She: Chiffon for this, nah.
I: OK, wear the one that you took out, and ironed, this morning.
She: Yes, you have a good choice.

We both learnt from this incident: now she doesn't ask me: she realises that I have no clue about chiffon, silk, cotton, or any other fabric OR magenta, cyan, or any other colour other than the basic RGB colours, and I don't dare suggest anything for fear of exposing my ignorance.