The Post Corona World


Poonam and I were married on 22 June 1978, and started our roller coaster ride that has lasted well over 41 years. Our roller coaster has been through dramatic generational changes; we got married in an era in which the norm was that the man earned and the better half was a housewife. In line with tradition we both happily agreed that I would do everything outside the front door and everything inside the home was her responsibility. She did have domestic help to help her with the mundane. Means were limited but life was good as a young married couple in the IAF. We were blessed with two kids – a daughter and a son, and our family was complete, with an additional annual increment of Rs 50/- in the pay cheque.

1985 - We were posted in Gorakhpur now and Poonam felt inadequate, and suffered a self esteem issue, being a mere housewife. She mentioned this to some ladies during a ladies club meet. Fortunately for her, a wise lady told her that she should not look at herself as a mere housewife, but as a home maker, and rightly so, because most husbands at that stage of our careers were mostly not available to be of any help at home, even when they were locally available, leave alone detachments, night, dawn, dusk flying etc. This advice and a change of perspective changed how she viewed herself now; it did wonders to her self esteem. She did all that it took to make/ keep the home, even with all the frequent temporary/ permanent moves, as well as homes, and two growing kids. She shouldered all the responsibilities in the home that most of us men folk do not even comprehend, well generally, up until now, when the Corona lockdown hit us in March 2020.

Picture Courtesy: Google Images
Corona Virus  
 
The domestic help was not available from around mid March, and the workload of the entire household fell on her shoulders, from cleaning, mopping, dusting, dishes, cooking, etc. I volunteered to help in whichever way possible to ease her workload as she too had turned 60 in February. She refused my help initially, but finally gave in and we agreed that I do whatever she felt was needed on a daily basis. The vacuum cleaner was dusted and pulled out of its original box, where it had been gathering dust for over 5 years. So, one day I was allotted the duty to vacuum the whole home.  She is not very happy with my skills and prefers me to do the dusting/ cleaning bathrooms and balconies. I realised that Poonam is a ‘dusting’ freak. I remember her walking barefoot to feel the dust/ sitting on the floor, inspecting the vitrified tiles against the light, to look for any sign of dust. Over the past 2 weeks, day 17 today, I have learnt not to miss any areas, as she knows every nook and corner of the home. She has caught me every time I complete the dusting, with me confessing, ‘yaa, I missed that today’.  I did an absolutely perfect job today, I thought, and proudly proclaimed the same to her, only to be told, ‘did you dust the balcony doors from outside?’ Mind you, she knew as she was in the balcony. The answer was ‘No, tomorrow’. You can never beat these dust freaks; I remember this from our cabin cupboard inspection days in NDA, 1969.

This was a dreaded drill in which our rooms, beds, cupboards, etc were inspected for being made as per set standards. Every item had a place and every item had to be in its place, properly cleaned, with no dust anywhere. Punishments were normal after every inspection, because even when everything was in place, the person inspecting would find some dust particle over the mirror, under the table/ chair, etc. After a few inspections, I thought that I had mastered the art and was confident that I would be able to avoid a punishment. The inspection started and the person was visibly impressed as he could not find any dust anywhere in the usual places. Lo and behold, he picks up one of my drill boots, with 13 nails in each shoe sole, with a metal toe guard and a horse shoe at the heel.  He smiles, turns around and shows me a speck of dust underneath one of the nails in the boot. Lesson learnt – you can never win! 
Picture Courtesy: Google Images
A Representative Drill Boot used at NDA during our times

This lesson now comes in handy when Poonam confronts me with her sharpened home maker skills. Jokes apart, these 17 days have taught me a number of new skills, like sweeping, dusting, cleaning, chopping, maintaining the balcony garden, making home fertiliser, segregating garbage, etc. Each one of these tasks involves physical work, which exercises every muscle that I can confess has never been used during the 67 years of my existence. From nothing inside the home, I have come to willingly share, as also appreciate, the heavy physical, mundane, & ‘brain dead’ jobs, as Poonam calls them. I always appreciated the work done by our domestic helps over the years, in keeping our homes liveable, but I am now humbled by their dedication to keeping our homes clean, tidy and functional. My heart goes out to them for their contributions, and my head bows to them in gratitude, as also to my dear Poonam for all that she has done smilingly as our home maker. It took a Corona virus in our lives to put things in perspective. I am sure mankind will be able to surmount this deadly virus in due course, but not before this invisible and deadly virus teaches each one of us some very valuable lessons, from the fragility of our existence, to the things that are of value in life, but the most important of all will be, I believe, to live in gratitude.  

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