1984 - I was posted on the strength of the Flaming Arrows. Our squadron was flying the Hunter Mk 56A aircraft, but was slated to be re-equipped with the new HAL assembled and built DARIN Jaguar, commencing from 01 Jan 85. DARIN Jaguar was operationally much superior to the original NAVWASS Jaguar on account of the DARIN (Display, Attack, Ranging and Inertial Navigation) system, as also the upgraded 811 engines. I was lucky to be part of the squadron pilots, converting onto Jaguars.
After having flown the Hunter, equipped only with a 'moving thumb display' navigation system, it was a pleasure, and a great learning experience, to learn how to fly an aircraft with such sophisticated & accurate inertial navigation system, in that era; head up display (HUD); a highly accurate ranging & weapon aiming system; and also having the luxury of an automated combined map and electronic display in the cockpit. The number of displays and switches in the Jaguar cockpit had increased many times, and it took me nearly 20 hours to get comfortable in the cockpit, this even after over 2000 hours of flying experience on other types, mainly Canberras, Hunters and Kirans. I completed my Day Operational syllabus in due course, and was awaiting my night syllabus, both moon phase and dark phase to get my coveted Fully Operational category on the Jaguar aircraft.
We were scheduled to operate ex-Jaisalmer, for our weapons practice over Pokharan range. Our CO, Niteen, felt that night operational flying should ideally be done in the desert, with sparse population and no ambient lights, which is the ideal simulation of real wartime operations with blackout conditions. Our detachment arrived in Jaisalmer and we got down to flying at the new base. The bulk of our flying was devoted to night flying, starting with the moon phase. Moon phase syllabus went through like a breeze, as the clear skies over the desert, and the bright moon, give one a fair idea of depth at low level. We completed our moon phase syllabus and were due to start dark phase.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
----- Nelson Mandela
I remember my first dark phase sortie of LLN, nb 500 ft agl (Low level navigation not below 500 ft above ground level), over the desert at Jaisalmer. I was briefed to level out at 500 ft above ground level, and do the navigation route at that altitude, followed by a weapon delivery pass over Pokharan range at 200 ft. Every thing went like clock work until the unstick. Immediately after unstick, once the flarepath on the runway vanished under the aircraft nose, it was pitch dark, and nothing was visible except the lights in the cockpit and the greenish electronic display of the HUD in front. I selected navigation mode and approaching 500 ft, I pushed forward on the stick to level the aircraft, but the aircraft continued to climb. I kept pushing harder, but the VSI continued to show climb. I could hear my own breathing. The muscles in my right arm started aching by the effort of pushing forward on the stick to level the aircraft, but the aircraft VSI continued to show climb. Finally, with a lot of effort, I managed to bring the aircraft to level at about 1800 ft. With over 2000 hours of flying experience, an A2 QFI, I felt really small, and started to curse myself for not being able to do such a simple task properly. Slowly, I descended to 500 ft and completed the navigation and weapon release, as planned.96+
Flashback: I had done plenty of flying at low level by dark night on the Canberras and thus felt that this would/ could not happen to me, but evidence was right in front of me that it did happen. I had no memory of a similar experience on the Canberra, which I had flown when I had much lesser flying experience. It was intriguing to me, and I could not understand the reason for the same. The Jaguar had a more modern cockpit, with a better cockpit layout that was designed to be comfortable while flying at low level, and specially so with the HUD and navigation information provided on the COMED and other displays. The Canberra, like the Hunter, had only a moving thumb display with the pilot. Of course, the Canberra cockpit had two crew members, a navigator along with the pilot; another human being in the cockpit. And, I suppose that is what made a lot of difference. The presence of another human being in a stressful situation encountered by human beings for the first time can be a big help is what I had learnt; the human being may not be of any actual help, but his mere presence, his voice, his touch can calm many fears. God's design of our physiology and psychology, I suppose.
- I had learnt this when a friend of mine confided to me about his disorientation by dark night over the sea while flying at low level on the Canberra. Fortunately he called out to the navigator. The navigator who was at the working table immediately moved to the crash seat, and just touched the pilot on his right thigh, and in a re-assuring tone told him, "don't worry, believe your instruments and we will get out of it". This made all the difference and they landed back safely. This message stayed stored in my memory for posterity. In later years, as a supervisor, my briefings for low level night flying would end with, "In case you feel disoriented, first action is believe your instruments, do not panic, get wings level, climb to increase separation from ground (at 420 kts 500 ft is too low) to give yourself time, and also increase your R/T range; callout to the ATC/ other aircraft/ SU; another human voice can help calm nerves. In case nothing works and the feeling persists, eject; I do not want to lose you with the aircraft; we will answer the CoI later."
Rewind: I came back to the crew room and kept to myself, while the other pilots too trickled in one by one. The conversation was general, as every one had completed the sortie, as planned. I wanted to ask the others about their experience after unstick, but was very reluctant to do so, lest I be the only abnormal guy who could not level out the aircraft at the designated height at low level. Fighter pilots are human too, yet are a breed apart; they feel that they are expected to be above all the usual 'fear and anxiety', even in unique and stressful situations; they rarely discuss their fears, and are generally good at effectively masking them by the outward display of bravado, and by engaging in high pitched conversations.
Our CO walked in, and started to tell every one loudly how he could not level the aircraft at 500 ft, but went well beyond. He said it in a matter-of-fact manner and made it feel normal, such that every one now felt comfortable in narrating their own experiences, including me. It took me 4 dark night sorties to start levelling off at 500 ft, with the level off height reducing gradually with each sortie. I call this an act of 'unconscious self-preservation', maybe, or more simply fear of hitting the ground, while at low level. The aircraft is accelerating at a very fast pace, from zero speed, at line-up point, to about 400 kts in the air into the black wilderness. The vestibular apparatus, our main organ giving us our 'sense of balance', located in our middle ear, is going berserk, and giving sensations that confuse you, until you gain experience after due training; it takes practice and time, specially at night, at low level. The muscle ache was primarily due to the taut muscles, primarily due to mental stress, or fear. Adrenaline rush is the body's response to stress, which is responsible for this, in anticipation of the evolutionary 'fight or flight' response of our body. Practice helps get over this fear/ stress, in a few sorties.
I learnt a valuable lesson that night by this one act of my CO. Leadership is all about anticipating what the weakest member is likely to experience and then being level with your followers. In fighter flying, it can, and does, save lives. Fighter pilots are highly self motivated; want to be perfect, and push themselves too hard to reach that state; sometimes a bit too hard; they tend forget that they are human too, and possess all the strengths, and more importantly, all the weaknesses, like normal human beings!
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Mukesh Gupta